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I’d like to preface this post by saying that, if you’ve been here before and have read a number of my blog posts, you might be a little confused regarding this post’s topic.
Most of my posts up to this point have dealt with productivity, time management tips, and pursuing your goals. And while I will continue to include those topics on my blog, I’ve felt called to connect on a deeper level with you and share more of what has been on my heart, my personal struggles, and my faith.
We can feel so isolated with the trials that consume our hearts and I believe that it’s important to know that much of what we go through is a struggle shared by many.
Today, I want to share a struggle that has been on my heart for many years.
My hope is that if you are dealing with something similar, you know there is someone else out there that is saying, “I know how you feel. Me too. I’ve been there.”
So my question to you is:
Do you hold a God given gift close to your heart?
And by that I mean, do you tuck that gift away, so others do not see?
“You should be sharing your gift of music more freely with others.”
“If I had half the amount of musical talent that you do, I would be ecstatic.”
“You have such a beautiful voice. What a strange cross to bear to be so reserved with it.”
These are a few things that have been uttered to me. I am sure that they were only ever meant to be encouraging and to let me know that I didn’t need to hide my musical ability. But the truth is, they usually only ever brought me this odd sort of pain.
Because each time someone says something to me about it I feel guilty. Guilty for not using my gifts more. Guilty because other people had such confidence in my ability when I didn’t. Guilty because I lacked the passion to use my gift. Guilty because I
was am afraid to share it.
I have wrestled so much with the fact that I’ve been given this talent and lacked the drive to use it and to share it with others. I would compare myself to others who share the same gift, noticing how they are consumed by it and burn with desire to share it.
I am constantly asking myself (really, I’m asking God), “why have I been given this gift without the passion behind it?”
Maybe you’ve felt these things too. Maybe you have some gift that others see so clearly, but you struggle to share it with the world. Are you thinking of it now? Does your gift give you guilt instead of joy? Do you wonder if it will always be this way?
To be honest, I’m still learning the answer to that last question, but I am confident that we can grow to love our ALL of our gifts and in turn, share our love for them with the world.
Here are a few reasons why:
Thoughts About Using Our Gifts
Our gifts can bless others.
Eating my piece of humble pie here. But one thing I’ve realized is that many of my thoughts concerning my gifts have revolved around my fears and my pride.
- I was afraid I would embarrass myself somehow
- I compared myself to others I thought were better than me
- If I couldn’t share my gift *perfectly* it was pointless to share it (because you know, perfection is a possible standard)
I was focusing completely on how sharing this particular gift would affect me, how it would make me look when I should instead be thinking about how it could help others.
When we shift our mindset to focus on how we can bless others by using our gifts, we can begin to see them in a new light. Which brings me to my next point…
We are called to use our gifts for some purpose.
God wants us to use the gifts He’s given us, to share them with others in order to glorify Him and bring light to this world.
He’s given us our specific gifts for a purpose, on purpose. And by that I mean it was no accident that He chose to give your unique gifts…to you.
Think about that for a second.
God could have given you and I a completely different set of gifts…but He didn’t. There is a reason for that.
Our purpose may be to share our gifts with those close to us, our family and friends, to bring joy to their lives. Or maybe our gifts are meant to be shared on a larger scale that will bless the lives of many.
The specifics of how God wants you to use your gifts may not be clear right now, but the important thing to know and believe is that you are meant to use them in some capacity, whether big or small.
They are not meant to be buried in your heart.
With use, the passion may come.
I’ve been pondering this one for a while. For so long, I have felt that I didn’t have the passion for my gift of music. But now I’m beginning to ask a different question:
What if I lack the passion because I’m not using my gift? Would my desire to share this gift with others grow the more I allowed myself to actually share it?
It’s led me to think that maybe the passion doesn’t come directly from the gift itself and instead comes from the fruits of sharing it.
All of this to say, if you’ve felt saddened, fearful, even resentful of your gifts, know that you’re not alone. But also know that it doesn’t have to be the end of the story.
And so I encourage you to take a moment, right where you are and do this with me:
- Pray about your gifts and seek guidance for how you’re called to use them. Ask God to help you to see how your gifts can be a blessing to others.
- Think of something you can do to use your gifts. Sometimes taking one small step and meeting God halfway is all that He wants us to do.
We may not yet know exactly how God wants us to use our gifts, but we do know that His plan for our lives is good.
And so if you, like me, have held a gift close to your heart, my prayer is that we might seek to align our hearts with the One who created us so that God’s purpose for our gifts may be revealed.
I’m not there yet, but it’s something I’m working toward. I hope you’ll come along this journey with me.